The Duty Sgt has been unmasked! That's the problem working with Police officers. The half decent ones are all naturally suspicious people who dig at things were not happy with until we get answers.
An ex colleague who I joined the job with from my previous force contacted me the other day to say how much he liked my blog. We irregularly keep in contact and looking back I realised that the updates I had given him on my own life matched my blog and having known me for a few years he made the connection. Luckily I trust him and he has assured me he will keep it under his hat (along with his lunch if you read my previous post.) I did chuckle though as one of his reasons for keeping quiet is that he is embarrassed that he reads Police blogs in his own time.
It did make me think though, I read Police blogs as I like to see that its not just me in my force or even British Police officers that have the same problems. From feedback I know that a few serving officers from the UK and abroad read this as well as ex officers (enjoy your pension you deserve it!) read my blog.
Can I ask readers to reply and let me know why you read my blog? And as for 'Tony Robinson' my ex colleague thank you for your kind comments and friendship.
As an aside please remember the fallen at 11 o'clock. It dosent cost you anything and only takes two minutes.
After my recent blog about Police kit I was approached by Magnum and asked to field test a new pair of boots the Magnum Elite Force 8.0.
Usually I wear a standard pair of Magnum 'classics.' I have had my new boots for a few weeks now and must say my initial reaction is good. They were comfortable right out of the box and didn't need 'wearing in.' I do a mix of foot patrol work and driving for long periods of time and have had no issues so far.
With the recent change in the weather I will wait and conduct a full review after another month or so and let you know if the ion mask technology does what it says on the box and protects your feet from the full rigours of the British weather, drunks being sick on them and traipsing around muddy fields looking for MISPERs.
The site address is http://global.magnumboots.com/ion-mask/ and more importantly if you look in the bottom right hand corner Magnum are after other field testers. Go on fill your boots!
Although I might fondly imagine myself fighting the forces of evil whilst on patrol in the early hours of the morning with my trusty steed (car) and sword (baton) on my hip and shield (um er shield) in the boot I am not a knight and therefore not part of myth and legend.
Which is why I always find it highly amusing that when dealing with MOPs people always quote obscure things that their mate told them down the pub at me or things that seemingly have been passed down from generation to generation when dealing with the Police. Hopefully this post will debunk a few myths and if nothing else make a few people smile.
First and foremost pregnant ladies cant ask to use my custodian helmet (pointy hat as in the photo) to go to the toilet in and I am not obliged to let them do it. And I don't keep my lunch under it when on foot patrol.
Yes you can be arrested by one officer by themselves in England there doesn't need to be two of us together to do it. All I need is reasonable grounds to suspect you have committed an offence. And I don't need to be 'on duty' to arrest someone I have full Police powers when off duty although some are only available to officers in uniform I am not in the habit of wearing this on days off.
Swearing and shouting in the street IS an offence irrespective of who you are doing it at. You don't need to be warned to be arrested for it.
I don't need a warrant to enter your house depending on the circumstances I can use different powers under different acts.
Committing parking offences whilst leaving your hazard lights on and/or your small child in the car does not provide an exemption.
I don't need to be wearing my hat in order to breath test you. Sucking on copper coins, eating bits of tissue paper and sucking instead of blowing into the tube don't effect the breath test machines and you WILL be arrested regardless.
Listening to your answerphone messages, texting or calling your best mate who is upset are not legal exemptions to using your mobile phone whilst driving.
Currently cannabis is still illegal and you cant claim your are conducting your own medical experiments into pain relief.
You always need insurance cover for your car, it doesn't matter if you have just purchased it or you don't need it in your country you do when you are in the UK. The law did change a few years ago and Police can now '165' your car that means we seize it and crush it if you don't pay to get it back if you drive with no insurance or licence.
One I hate the most is passing small children throwing tantrums in the street. Parents always say "IF YOU DON'T STOP MISBEHAVING THE POLICEMAN WILL LOCK YOU UP." No wonder some small children are afraid of us!
Most Police cars now have data recorders in them that record speed, what lights were in use and a whole host of other complicated data. Although I am aware of a few highly publicised cases we don't use the lights and sirens to get home early or because we are late for lunch.
And despite what a young new in service PC did last week on my rota I wont post my warrant card through the letter box to you if you are elderly and don't believe I am a Police officer despite the uniform and marked car. And if the officer does do this please dont try and eat it!
I was checking my old pocket notebooks last week in order to provide a statement for another officer. I have a small pile of 23 at the moment in my locker and took a while to flick through them. Ive worked for two Police forces and had to hand mine in when I left my original force. I wish I could read my first notebook and see how I have changed.
Memories came flooding back, events I thought were a few months ago were in fact years and events good and bad I had dealt with were brought back into focus.
As always you remember the funny ones or those that are unique for other reasons. To show that I dont always moan or try and make a political point I thought id share a few with you.
Frank on my current shift is what Police officers call a 'thief taker.' He regularly arrests one or two people each shift and sometimes more. His secret is that he has built up a network of contacts with other departments, he reads all the intelligence reports and regularly checks who is wanted on warrant. One such day he was sneaking up the driveway of a house belonging to a male wanted on warrant when he saw a male at the kitchen sink quickly pull the curtain closed and disappear into the house. Thinking this was the male he was after he called for a unit with an enforcer. When this arrived the helpful neighbours came out and were shouting at the male to come down and let Police in before his door was destroyed. A muffled voice came back from in the house saying "I CANT IVE LOCKED MYSELF IN THE ATTIC AND CANT GET OUT!" The door was put in and the man 'rescued' from the attic. Funnily enough he wasnt the male that Frank had the warrant for but another completley different male who also happened to be wanted on warrant.
A month ago my door demolition skills were again called for when one of my officers Mike attended an address to a report of an unwell male who had not been seen for a few days. The usual checks of sniffing at the letter box and shouting 'POLICE!' resulted in no reply. I then checked the windows and saw that a one was open with the curtains shut. Mike being smaller than me voluntered to climb through. As he reached through and pulled the curtains back I heard the noise of glass smashing followed by an elderley male voice screaming and then swearng. Mike climbed in and then opened the door and let me in looking worried. The owner had collpased whilst on the toilet and was stuck in the bathroom. His mirror was propped up over the sink against the curtains and Mike pulling it back had dislodged it from its perch and it had landed on the poor males head smashing. Seven years bad luck? I hope not.
One of our local 'customers' who has spent almost as much time in a Police Station as I have was subject to an early morning wake up call. Usually he is quite violent and tries to escape. I took advantage of a council street cleaning vehicle which was making plenty of noise in the street to mask the noise of our approach. The male was located in his bedroom and cockily as usual told me that he was going to run and kick up a fuss but he had decided not to as we had the helicopter overhead as he was such a 'face' Puzzled I asked him to repeat the statement which he did adding that he was a 'gangsta' and I was a 'toytown Policeman.' making gun signs as he was led out of his 'crib' past the street sweeper/helicopter which I took great delight in pointing out to him.
One of my favourite duties is foot patrol in town centres on Friday and Saturday nights. You get to meet people who arent always victims or offenders and see some funny sights. Door staff had stopped a teenage male who was trying to use a driving licence to get into a nightclub. I was asked to provide a second opinion by the PC dealing. The picture looked similar but the 'owner' of the licence was sweating heavily and looked nervous. I started with an easy question. "WHATS YOUR POSTCODE?" Reply "UMMM UHHH...." Then I tried "OK WHATS YOUR HOUSE NUMBER?" Reply "UMMMM I CANT REMEMBER!" "OK THEN WHAT YEAR WERE YOU BORN?" Reply "OH UM I DONT KNOW!" I followed this with "WHATS YOUR NAME?" The reply was "OK, OK I GIVE UP ITS NOT MINE!" Thank god there are simple criminals out there for me to catch!
The Duty Sgt has managed to pass the first of two national exams to become an Inspector. Dont worry the blog name wont change and neither will my views.
Anyway Inspector Gadget already has the monopoly on Police Inspector blogs and gucci T shirts! Maybe Ill start a line of novelty mugs......
Some people hoping to join or new to the job have asked me what kit I wear and carry. Being ex military I am a bit of a ‘kit monster’ and like my little toys that make the job (in my opinion) much easier. This is only what I find works for me ill mention some kit by brand names and if you want to know where to obtain it send me an email or comment and ill answer. I know some of you will argue that if your not issued with it why should you pay for it but it makes my life easier I'm happy to pay a little extra.
Top on my list is a decent sized kit bag. Ive had a few over the years but generally anything big enough to hold your paperwork folder, ticket book, hat, high vis jacket, gloves, lunch box, spare torch, pens, batteries for radio and torches, waterproof trousers will do. Usually were talking about something the size of a weekend going away bag. Id recommend some way of personalising it so when all the similar looking kit bags are grabbed and thrown into or out of cars in a hurry you can easily identify yours. I use an old PC’s epaulet that has my shoulder number on and a set of metal Sgts stripes to make mine stand out.
For my ‘paperwork folder’ (yes I still do it!) I use a product called the cruiser mate. Its like a metal clipboard with a storage compartment three inches thick. I found it was easier than constantly asking people to borrow a magazine to lean on when in their house and means you can take statements in the car. Its also big and heavy enough to act as a barricade in case of a terrorist attack.
I have a ‘traffic officers folder’ a small folder which holds all my traffic tickets, calling cards, tickets for shoplifting and public order offences and the like. I just have to walk up to a row of illegally parked cars with it under my arm and people magically appear and move cars, it works every time.
My secret weapons are two A3 sized books called the ‘beat officers companion’ and the ‘traffic officers companion’ these are basically policing for dummies guides with flow charts and points to prove for the most common (and some rather obscure) offences. Always handy being able to quote obscure legislation at people when challenged!
I also carry a number of items in case I end up on a ‘scene watch.’ A black woolly hat for cold remote scene watches (when out of public gaze only) a book (for rest breaks) and a large pack of jelly sweets. Admittedly I don’t so many scene watches now but still carry the kit with me and give it out to people as a morale booster when I visit. Depending on the time of year I compliment this with a thermos flask of coffee (despite looking ive not found a Starbucks open at 3am) and chemical hand warmers that can be found in most camping a stores.
I carry three torches usually (and spare batteries). I know this sounds excessive but usually someone will not have one or their batteries will have gone so its always handy to have a spare. One is a small torch that attaches to my stab vest and has an angled head on it so you can read and write keeping your hands free. As my main torch currently using a ‘Surefire Commander’ which is the type you see attached to weapons in movies its small and runs off camera batteries but is very very bright and good for disorientating people I keep this on my belt. The third is a large 4 cell ‘Maglite’ which I use for searching large open areas at night and also doubles as a handy weapon.
On my feet I wear Magnum boots usually and if its really bad weather an old pair of my British Army assault boots and thick army socks. I polish them every day, not only as a subtle hint to my shift but it helps keep them waterproof.
Another item I carry in my stab vest pocket is a ‘first field dressing’ this is a habit from the army basically it’s a thick bandage with padding used for gunshot wounds, Ive only ever had to use it once for a stabbing victim but old habits die hard. In this pocket are at least five pairs of rubber gloves, again you’d be amazed how many Police officers turn up at jobs without the right kit and ask if anyone has a spare set of gloves when faced with a bleeding casualty. To go with this I carry a bottle of alcohol based hand gel usually blagged from a friendly paramedic to cleanse myself after dealing with some of my ‘customers.’
On my belt I have a ‘leatherman multi tool’ for the uninitiated its like a Swiss army knife built into a pair of pliers. Great for forcing locks, house and car searches and taking boy scouts out of horses hooves.
Under my shirt I wear ‘Coolmax’ T shirts that absorb sweat in the summer and help keep me warm in the winter. I'm reliably informed by some of my female colleagues that wearing thick tights under your trousers helps also, who am I to argue?
Most forces federation branches issue diaries which I always carry in my back pocket. Great for remembering when you bailed people and helps when people ask you how to convert pints to gallons and what the currency is in Peru. Mine also has a list of what star signs relate to which birthdays, always a good way of testing the details people are giving you.
Feel free to comment if you have any kit to add or want to tell me how sad I am…… As I said it’s a personal thing!
One of my colleagues gave me the link to this Public Information Office film. It was made in 1959 for the Colonial Office to promote Britain's Police Service to the colonies and Commonwealth states.
I have watched it a few times now and it still makes me laugh each time. I thought id share it with you and post my own 'modern day' commentary to go with it. This works best if you watch the film first then read my commentary or scroll down and read mine as the original narrator reads his. Yes its slightly cynical but I hope you enjoy and feedback is always welcome!
Police Constable Jack Edwards is a British Policeman. He is 28, still lives with his parents as he cannot afford a house, and was in the Army for five years before he left to join the Police as he was fed up of being shot at on endless operational tours and wanted better pay.
Although it is his duty to enforce the law, he himself must also obey it, and he shares with his neighbours all the rights and responsibilities of citizenship. If he does make a mistake a high profile public case will follow and he will hounded by the media even if he is found to be acting lawfully and probably end up resigning anyway.
Today is a 9 hour tour of duty from 3pm until midnight. Although PC Edwards knows he will probably end up doing overtime due to staff shortages and catching up on paperwork as his control room will continually send him from job to job without a chance to catch up.
At a quarter to 3 he parades in the briefing room to be briefed by his Sgt. The video link is not working again and the intelligence briefing power point is a week out of date. The Sgt goes through it anyway as he was told off last week by the Chief Inspector for not using it. He is given details of one of the five missing persons from his area. No photos are available but as all of them go missing on a weekly basis most officers have met them before.
They all have to show the Sgt their handcuffs, baton, CS spray, taser, stab vest, airwave radio set, note book, and pocket sized guide to policing that the training department produced and all officers have to carry with them at all times. The British Policeman does not carry a gun, instead he has to wait for armed response officers to turn up. Because of the lack of respect people have for his uniform all of the above 'use of force options' and more are often used.
In Great Britain there are an average of 1 Policeman to 1,650 persons. In this city there are 500 Police staff and 500 Police Officers. Of which only 15 will be available to answer response calls. The rest will be working 9 to 5 Monday to Friday in specialist teams and departments.
On this day PC Edwards beat covers two busy towns and the areas in between. However if the adjoining divisions are busy he will find himself drafted over to help them also. This will roughly cover an area he can easily get to within 30 minutes of driving on blue lights and sirens.
He has a radio and a mobile phone which control room and his supervisors can use to easily get in touch with him. Providing that he can get a signal and has remembered to turn them on. In an emergency he can press the 'red button' on his radio and frantically call for assistance of other officers who will drop everything and race to help him.
He is called to a load that has fallen off the back of a lorry damaging a car behind it. He reports the van driver for summons, completes a summons file and fills out an accident report. Before he can complete this he is sent to a domestic incident by control room which involves people texting ex partners and sending them pictures of them in their underwear.
He arrests the female who has slapped the male as force policy states he must do so in domestic cases. The male refuses to give a statement and PC Edwards takes the female to custody, books her in, completes his notebook, statement, domestic risk assessment and conducts door to door enquiries. As a child lives in the house he completes a form for that as well. He then rings a call centre to get his crime report created and fills out a handover sheet for the prisoner unit. A mere three hours later he is back on his beat. He should have a 45 minute rest break to eat his evening meal. Instead he eats his sandwiches at the desk as he completes his paperwork.
As he resumes patrol he sees a teenage girl who matches the description of one of the missing persons. He approaches her to talk to her. She is not the missing person but IS drunk and shouts abuse at him. Telling him to "Go find a rapist or summink." She is legally allowed to drink and is not causing enough of a commotion to be arrested. PC Edwards decides to ignore her and go on his way.
He is called to an alarm at a commercial premises which has an alarm system monitored by a civilian security company. They are paid a lot of money by the shop owner to call the Police if the alarm sounds. PC Edwards attends and finds the back door open, he asks for a dog unit. There are only three dog units in the force at any one time. One is sick, one looking for a missing person and the other is an hour and a half away. PC Edwards calls for another response unit and is joined by his Sgt and they clear the premises themselves. Finding no one inside they call the shop owner. He states he has had a drink and cant come and lock up and ask if the Police can guard his premises all night. After ten minutes of the Sgt negotiating over the phone his girlfriend reluctantly agrees to drive him to the shop so the back door he forgot to lock can be secured. Forty five minutes later PC Edwards resumes patrol.
He is called to a report of a disturbance at McDonald's. A teenage girl has sworn at staff and thrown a bin all over the floor as she was asked not to stand on a table. PC Edwards recognises Chantelle as one of the missing persons he has been asked to look out for. She tells him to "FUCK OFF PIG" and throws her drink at him and is arrested for a public order offence and assault Police. Wayne 'no fear' Stevens her boyfriend throws a chair at PC Edwards and is arrested for assault Police by his back up officer who has come from another town to assist.
It is midnight and in theory PC Edwards tour of duty is over. He hands over his car keys to the oncoming shift and sits down to completes a pile of paperwork.
And so the tour of duty goes on throughout the city, night and day, in rain, snow or sunshine, the policeman are out on their beats, friendly and helpful and being firm where firmness is called for and being kind to those who seek aid. The policeman is a friend of the people and he knows that they will always turn to him, without fear or restraint, in their time of need.
A 20 something 'response' Sgt leading a small team of increasingly overstretched, increasingly newer Police officers doing our best to assist you, appease the government and arrest criminals
